MCLB BARSTOW, Calif. -- Having trouble being a newlywed? Looking for tips on how to keep your marriage strong? Marine and Family Services offers a class for Marines and their significant others, aptly named ‘Married and Loving it!’ to teach men and women how to get the most of out their relationship.
'Married and Loving it!’ is held once a week for five weeks, teaching married couples and couples in long-term relationships how to have a healthy and happy bond.
“We’re providing you with tools so you can be prepared for certain challenges,” said Manny Llanura, the substance abuse counselor at Marine and Family Services aboard MCLB Barstow. “We teach you how to handle situations in a healthier way.”
It is offered for couples in various circumstances and in different phases of their relationship. The class is tailored for those who are planning to tie the knot and are willing to learn new ways of problem solving before the union, couples who have been married for a few years and recognize the ever-evolving aspect of love, those who have been wedded before but want better tools in their current marriage, and couples who feel they are at a crossroad in their marriage.
“I couldn’t participate as much without my husband here,” said Lance Cpl. Lana Wilbur, a supply clerk for the Fleet Support Division. “The class really makes you think about how to deal with any type of relationship, whether it’s your spouse or another family member.”
One of the topics discussed quite thoroughly during the five week program is communication, which is a strong characteristic in any working relationship.
“Being able to understand what your spouse is truly saying is a big help,” said Llanura. “There are many times when you will say something and they might step back and think, ‘you said this, but did you really mean this?’”
Another area of discussion during the class is working through conflict. Many couples face conflicts ranging from when to do the laundry to deciding when to have children. Class attendees learn how to be more assertive in their relationship, instead of the common overly aggressive or passive.
The distance is challenging, said Wilbur, speaking of her long-distance relationship. It would be easier to have her husband in the class so they could discuss things in person and participate together. Her husband is an active-duty Marine stationed in Hawaii.
During the course, hands-on activities were encouraged to help involve everyone in the class. Participants filled out cards with wishes for their partner, an exercise known as part of the love languages, and wrote on small dry-erase boards about gender specific roles and who should be doing certain chores around the house.
Llanura said they are hoping to have a six-month reunion with everyone that was in the class. He explained it would be nice to see how the couples used their newfound knowledge and what tools were most helpful in the relationships.
Marriage counseling classes are also offered at Marine and Family Services. For more information on the ‘Married and Loving It!’ program, call (760) 577- 6533.